Why did I give it up? I tried to convince the public, myself included, that it's mainly due to my humbleness gene, that I didn't like all this attention, that given the choice, I'd choose a family, a small house, a mini-van, a cat named Ester, and nothing more.
Who was I kidding? The real reason I quit was...
I lost my funny!
It's a loss no one can recover from, losing your funny. For the love of life, I tried and I reached deep down into my heart and soul, but nada! No funny! How come? I had it before… I was funny!!! I'd be in my car and would be hailed "HEY!!! YOU'RE FUNNY!" How would something like this slip away from me unnoticed? What? Did I spend all my funny away? Did it slip away in my sleep? Was I cursed? Voodoo stuff? I WANT TO BE FUNNY AGAIN!
Without it… without being funny… I had nothing… I HAVE nothing… I'm just… Ordinary…
God… I hate that word… Ordinary… I even hate pronouncing it… 'or-d&n-"er-E… The "Urrrrr"'s kill me.
Where can I cash that? Ordinary? I don't recall someone being offered a cup of coffee on the house, because he's just… ordinary!!!
Why would anyone be even partially interested in what an ordinary guy says or thinks or feels?
I'm finished… I'm done for…
There are 5 types of funny… And alas… I'm not one of them.
You've got your Sarcastic. Black humor always works. It's sharp, and edgy. Sarcastic people are brave too, they aren't afraid that others might miss out on the joke, but they say it anyways. I wish I was sarcastic.
You've got your Smart and Witty. Well I guess no explanation is needed… Smart… aaaaannnndddd… Witty... And I know that I've got no chance! No chance of being that.
You've got your "You-know-what-holes / Jerks". Hey! Blasting at someone or something, awful and wicked as it may sound, does have a ring of humor to it. I don't have the heart for it, unfortunately.
Then there are Prop funnies. Yeah that sounds interesting but I have to be realistic, I can't walk around with a painted horse, a sheep in a clown suit, and juggle 5 balls at the same time. I don't know how to juggle.
Last but not least, there are the Unintentionally Funny funnies. You know the type. The type that think they can run 7 ministries at once.
So… It all boils down to nothing. I'm lost. And I don't mean the hit TV show on ABC (Yeah I admit, I'm totally gaga over it), I'm lost in oblivion.
I'm not funny…
Unlike Moqtada Al-Sadr, I'm not handsome. So I can't milk that cow.
I'm not politically active either. I'm not married, so I have no reason to find excuses to stay out of the house. (I know I'm going to get heat over that, but let's face it, if I was funny enough, it would've been taken light heartedly).
Being funny was my only way of surviving this… this… arena.
And I'm not funny anymore…