Ok… there's no easy way of putting this… the "Body"… The "B" (
human body in this case), as beautiful and complex a machine as it is, is a Disgusting-Smell-Hazard (
DSH).
I will try to lay down a few abstract thoughts regarding or revolving around this sense of ours we know as Smelling.
Question… someone around you has Bad Breath (
BD)… what do you do? Oh and just your luck, they'd be one of those people who don’t understand personal space and boundary issues, so their face would be RIGHT IN THERE! Well???
Do you tell them or not? Ideally… you'd offer them a piece of gum right? Well actually… ideally… they'd have nice, peppermint, breath (
NPB) but alright… the best way to resolve this issue without hurting any feelings would be… gum! (
By the way… God bless whoever invented gum).
What if it was during Ramadan and you can't offer gum? Or any other situation where you really can't just take out a piece of gum from your pocket and hand it to that person…
"Here"
"What?"
"Gum"
"I can see that… why?"
"Why?"
"Yeah"
"Because your breath F@#%## stinks… that’s F#$#@** why!"
"That bad?"
"Are you kidding me? You can disinfect germs with that breath!"
No no no… now that's not very nice is it?
You can distant your face (
nose) as far away as possible, but then again… You can tie your shoe laces for so long before that other person suspects that you're doing it intentionally.
On the other hand… I think it's unethical not to mention it to that person. Because I'm sure if someone took the fall and informed Mr./Ms./Mrs. Bad Breath about his/her "problem", they would actually be saving them from any future gossip or embarrassments.
"Gum?"
"No thank you, I'm fine"
"No you're not… my friend"
"What do you mean?"
"Breath problem"
"Oh… I didn't know… why thank you very much… really… thanks for bringing it to my attention so I can fix it before anyone else notices it"
"Don't mention it…"But how often would you get a reaction like that? I think it would be more along the lines of…
"Gum?"
"No thank you, I'm fine"
"Breath problem"
"Shut the hell up A##@!@&*%... Like you're MR.PERFECT!!! YOU STINK TOO"
"Not really… but ok… forget I mentioned it"Some people just don't get it! BAD BREATH IS OFFENSIVE! (
BDIO) But of course they don't get it… because no one has told them "HEY!!!! BRUSH YOUR TEETH MORE!" (
HBYTM) or "HEARD OF MOUTH WASH?!!!!" (
HMW).
Oh and… if I'm not mistaken… written clearly on the mouth wash bottle "if problem persists, please consult a doctor". SO IT IS A… "PROBLEM".
Ladies and gentlemen… the human body is smelly by nature… the least you could do is counter attack that with easily accessible products…
Long lasting ever fresh breath toothpaste.
Mouth wash.
Breath fresheners.
Any strong drink (I can only endorse non-alcoholic drinks)
So please… keep your mouth clean… fresh… and if you can't do that…. WELL!!!! Keep your mouth at least 2 meters away from my nose!
* * ** * *
On a side note…
(
Please put on your 3D glasses for this one)
I think intestinal gas should have been colored! I think that it was a cruel joke on someone's part to keep human gas colorless.
I figure… hey… if it was colored… like "Red Gas" or "Yellow Gas" then at least we can swerve around it. We can notice it and avoid it.
Wouldn't the world be a better place if you're walking down a corridor and you see someone coming your way and then oooowwwwpppsss… suddenly red smoke comes bursting out of him! Well first you give them the stink eye!! And then you hold your breath until you're in the clear.
I don't know about you… but I don't want to be caught off guard!
I suggest we should devote part of the human genetics study to add that "red gas gene" in our future generations' genetic mark-up.
And if it's possible… do one for the breath as well… And it can be a scale of colors… from like… Blue to Green… or something… wouldn't that be great?
* * *
* * *
To smell… or not to smell…
There are so many things that can go wrong… you've got…
Skin smell,
Hair smell,
Sweat,
Breath,
Gas,
Feet,
Armpits,
And you know what?!!!! WE CAN CURE AND SOLVE ALL OF THEM!!!!
So there's no reason anyone should smell funny at all.
* * ** * *
Am I normal?
Ok… driving home from work, it was around half past 3. I saw a beautiful lady waiting next to the road, for her ride I guess, and she was smoking hot! I mean… the face, the body and the clothes (tank top)… She looked Lebanese. Anyway…
You know what the first thing that came to my mind? "Jeee she must be stinking from the sweat and the heat!"
In movies… when two people kiss… the first thing I think about is her breath… did she brush her teeth?
Some say Taurus people have an acute sense of smell. If that's true… HEY!!! WHAT THE @#!@!!
* * ** * *
Irony…
You what’s ironic? Is that even though I'm a smell freak, I cannot monitor my self! I mean, no one can notice their own smell… well they can but I mean those subtle smells, the nose needs only 3-5 minutes to adjust to any kind of smell… so I really get paranoid mostly all the time regarding this… But still!!! I would like to be able to notice if my breath is losing it's freshness… IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?
Now of course, I don't go unarmed… here… see…
But I would also like all of you that know me on a personal level…
If I ever smell bad… or had bad breath… TELL ME! Better yet… just slap me!
***
كما ترون هنا فان الصحفيين يرافقون رجال المباحث في عملياتهم اللي المفروض أنها تكون سرية و خطرة
و من هنا فاننا نتوجه بالتحية لنجوم وزارة الداخلية و ننصح الشيخ جابر المبارك وزير الداخلية بتعميم منع الصحافة من مرافقة و نشر صور و ألقاب و تفاصيل عمليات ادارة المباحث حفاظا على أمن و سلامة رجال الصحافة و رجال الداخلية و حفاظا على سرية و قدسية المهنة
شر البلية ما يضحك
استخدامه 
